Tending Hearts

The Mature Lover tends hearts—his own and others'. Tending hearts is not the same as fixing people. He offers his presence, his care, his love. He tends to others from fullness, not depletion. He knows when to give and when to receive.

The Addict tends hearts compulsively, trying to fix everyone, unable to tolerate others' pain. His tending is about his own discomfort, not their needs. The Hermit doesn't tend hearts at all. He's too disconnected to offer care. The Mature Lover tends hearts with presence and wisdom.

Tending hearts includes:

Listening deeply: The Lover gives his full attention without planning what to say next. He listens to understand, not to respond.

Holding space for feelings: The Lover lets others experience their emotions without rushing to fix them. He can be present to pain without needing to make it go away.

Offering comfort: The Lover provides physical and emotional support when needed. A touch, a word, a presence that says "I'm here."

Celebrating joy: The Lover shares in others' happiness and success. He delights in their flourishing.

Seeing people as they are: The Lover looks beyond masks and defenses to the real person. He sees the heart beneath the armor.

Tending your own heart: The Lover cares for himself so he can care for others from fullness. He doesn't deplete himself in service.

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring. These small acts tend hearts.

Tending hearts is not about having the right words or knowing what to do. Often the most powerful thing you can offer is simply your presence—being with someone in their experience without trying to change it.

The Lover who masters tending hearts becomes someone in whose presence others feel seen, heard, and valued. His care creates healing. His presence creates safety. His love creates connection.