Nurturing Growth

Part of love is helping people grow. The Mature Lover pays attention to what someone is becoming and gives them room to get there. He doesn't try to mold anyone. He makes the conditions right and lets people surprise themselves.

The Addict smothers growth through neediness and control. He needs others to stay dependent. The Hermit neglects growth, providing no support or encouragement. He's too disconnected to nurture anyone. The Mature Lover nurtures growth wisely.

Nurturing growth requires:

Seeing potential: The Lover sees what others can become, not just what they are now. He holds a vision of their possibility.

Encouragement: The Lover provides genuine support for others' development. His belief in them helps them believe in themselves.

Challenge: The Lover challenges others to grow beyond their comfort zones. He doesn't let them stay small. Growth requires challenge.

Space: The Lover gives others space to grow at their own pace. He doesn't force or control their development.

Resources: The Lover provides or connects others with what they need for growth—knowledge, skills, opportunities, connections.

Celebration: The Lover notices when people grow and says so. He takes genuine pleasure in watching someone come into their own.

Nurturing is not the same as fixing or rescuing. The Lover helps people along without doing the work for them. He makes the soil good and lets whatever is growing do its own growing.

What we nurture grows; that is nature's law. The same is true for what we nurture in others.

The Lover who gets good at this becomes the kind of person others grow around. People do better near him. They become more of who they actually are, not because he pushed them, but because he made enough room.